a pretty pink pixel platypus

(Source: youtube.com)

*drawn for SC*

I’m not cynical about Valentine’s Day. I’m actually a very romantic guy. It just sucks not having anyone to share that with and being alone. Some other personal matters about today also contribute to my being so melancholy but I won’t go into that. I could absolutely love Valentine’s Day, if only I had the right person to spend it with. I’d certainly be one of those nauseatingly sweet lovebirds.

If you were my girlfriend you’d be getting a personalized hand drawn Valentine card from me. Along with many other wonderful treats and surprises throughout the day. You ladies sure are missing out, I’m pretty amazing sometimes.

Anyhow, I can’t give this to the person I made it for, so it’s sort of now dedicated to all the lonely ladies today. The ones wishing they had a guy to romance them a bit. I’ll even throw in all the ladies with douche boyfriends. You picked a douchcanoe but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get some love today.

We can all be alone, together.

*drawn for SC*

I hadn’t drawn in awhile and was doing much of nothing. So on the 10th I decided to draw a pikachu for someone. I wanted to just doodle pikachu’s face with a “minimalistic” approach like all the cool retro posters I’ve seen on the Internet.

I sat down, got my pencil and pens…and started drawing a fucking whale. idkwtf? For some odd unintentional reason I was making a whale. Something was off about this whale, so I tried to draw the fins or whatever they’re called. You know like those wing things that sharks have. I don’t even know if whales have those wing fin things? Anyway, these stupid wing fins looked like arms, and those arms looked like penises. I kept erasing and drawing them again but this persistent muthafucking whale kept showing up with cock arms. I spent like an hour doing this. An hour drawing dicks on a whale. At this point I was in need of a break so I went to jerk off and eat a poptart. When I returned, I had a revelation, I wasn’t drawing any fingers or anything to really distinguish it as an arm. “It wasn’t a lack of skill, you were actually just drawing dicks on a whale the entire time you stupid fuck!” That’s me thinking to myself, by the by.

That fiasco was finally over and when all was said and done, the whale had somehow morphed into a dude in a whale suit with mittens. I don’t know where the hell the face and legs came from but that was the end result. My 9 year old nephew remarked “cool! you drew Finn in a whale suit” as he walked by. “…no you stupid bitch, I was drawing pikachu!” I, of course, did not actually say that. It was only my constant inner monologue.

I guess this dude does have a resemblance to Finn the Human. I must be watching too much Adventure Time. I don’t know where I’m going with this story.

RECAP: pikachu, cock arms, dude in whale suit, adventure time

“baby lets go fly all across the world”

Believer by John Maus

Hearing this song, I picture myself in a movie cliché cross-country trip montage. Riding some sort of vespa with a significant other hugging behind me, her lovely hair flowing back in the breeze. Smiles on our faces, not a care in the world, enjoying the moment, and loving life…I’m lame…but I love this song.

(Source: youtube.com)

*made for and dedicated to SC*

It’s some time in the late ’90s. I’m around 10 years old and my brother is about 13. We walk over to his friend’s home to play laser tag outside the suburban apartment setting. I realize all the kids are my brother’s friends but I figure I’m cool like them, not just that dude’s “little brother” tagging along. We all huddle up and discuss the rules. We break and everyone scrambles for hiding places before we begin.

I find what appears to be a perfect place for setting up a defense. Two large green metal bins, me kneeling and firmly wedged between them waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting victim. My excitement grows as I hear everyone starting to scream and have fun. Ten minutes pass and I begin to think my hiding place may be too perfect. I’m like a ninja masterfully sneaking in the shadows. Another ten minutes pass and I realize they’re just not looking for me…so I start playing with rolly pollies, picking grass, and drawing on the dirt with a stick.

Oh the joys of being a kid :)

(Source: youtube.com)

give me cookies or I stuff mr. grumpy mug’s ass! and no cops bitch!

Jeff Mangum

“I’m gonna tickle your ass with my tongue”

81 Inch Prime Ass by Tonetta

I sincerely admire this man for doing what he loves without diffidence and making great music. I love this song, it’s one of my favorites.

[**not being sarcastic**]

(Source: youtube.com)

RE: the recommendation of Valerie and Friends

8-bitgalaxy:

This spotify playlist! It’s quite possible that I love the living hell out of you right now, man. Farting hearts over here.

you’re welcome :)

(Source: open.spotify.com)